Quand l'adrénaline retombe

... Oh no. He held it in for so long that when he had the reaction, he couldn'T control it! He couldn't even kiss him or tell him he wanted him, he just ... he just... poor Eiki!! Oh my god how traumatised he must have been! The love of his life who just jerked off behind him instead of being romantic and kissing him and taking him for real geez!

*Mais alors que RYoku et Masashi se parlaient l'un l'autre avec chacun leur vision de qui était le "pauvre" dans la situation, chacun continuait de songer qu'ils avaient déjà entendu parler de cette pratique quelque part. Puis, Ryoku pàlissait et faisait de grands yeux. Masashi fronca les sourcils en le regardant puis tout d'un coup sembla comprendre. Lui aussi changea de couleurs.*

O_O ! Oh no this is exactly what happened at the fire temple! Those two huge guys behind us O_O !!!

I'm super bothered now O_O ! But... ... if this was such a traumatic event, why did it bring to the confession? Maybe the confession was "Look, I know you lost control that time, but I actually really liked it and I'd like to do it for real because... I love you" or something like that??

And huge they were T_T Gosh that was scary! and thank god they were into that frotterism business and didn't do much else! We were quite lucky but ugh I'd rather not think about this again T_T

* Repenser à cet événement était traumatisant pour plusieurs raisons. La première était bien sur le fait que c'était non réfléchi et non consentant. Néanmoins il y avait aussi l'impossibilité de dire non, le risque de se faire faire pire tout entremêlé avec le plaisir ressenti malgré eux, physiquement durant cette pratique des plus wrongs. Ce n,Étaient pas des hommes laids, et le mouvement avait créé malgré tout quelque chose d'intense et ils s'en voulaient tous deux d'avoir été excités malgré la situation. Mais bon, au dela de ca, le traumatisme aurait pu être pire. Ryoku pointa les pieds devant lui et secoua la tête pour tenter de retrouver sa raison. *

It was shameful, exciting and terrible. But this Tsubasa-san and Eiki-san scene doens't look that terrible, no? I mean... A massage can get messy. It's to be expected no..? no?

Ahh no no it can't be true. Look! If you're into the guy that does this on you, it must've felt like heaven! For one, Eiki-san must've been so seduced he couldn't say a word! I mean, this spot is quite sensitive! You can come from this! Even with pants! Ahh why can't we ask him! Masa, why didn't you read this part in the journal? You skipped the good part!

W-what !? H-hey! How was I supposed to know!? This wasn't in the journals! IT was probably a torn page! I mean it would make sense! And trust me just getting Deokin to read the journals was hard enough, getting to read the good parts, he would've killed me right there T_T and Tsubasa >.>

I dont really wanna talk about what happened to us either. I was getting into their super slow paced story. At least something happened geez! Maybe Eiki came too? Ugh no I can't be having these thoughts. Deokin I'm sorry I understand why you didnt want to read this T_T !!

*Secouant la tête quelques fois, Masashi ne pouvait pas vraiment imaginer ca. En emme temps il voyait aussi le flashback de Noel et c'était encore plus troublant que ce n'était pas le meme Hikaru. Dans le malaise qu'il ressentait, MAsahsi préférait poursuivre. Il ne pouvait pas retourner chez Deokin et chercher les journaux pour lire cela, si? Deokin habitait maintenant chez sno ancien chez lui. C'était encore plus dérangeant non? Il fallait au moins répondre à Tsubasa s'ils voulaient une tentative de suite. Ou au moins ne pas arreter sur ce moment "awkward". Tsuabsa avait quand meme osé leur répondre.*

"Ah! Quelle bonne nouvelle, un contact sexuel! Alors je vois deux options pour la suite... soit il y a eu trop de gêne et vous n'en avez pas reparlé jusqu'a ce que Eiki se décide à venir confesser ses sentiments et prouver ainsi qu'il avait apprécié ton geste. Ou... peut-être que vous en avez parlé directement après? Ou ca se continauit??"

I get you're troubled because he's a family member but isn't it fun and a little wrong to get to know what really happened? I mean... You don't here great gay love stories often.. and this one impacted even our own! And I kind of want to know because I think it'll help me understand what happened ever since Eiki-san got back. And why Oseki-san wrote these things to me.

* Retenant un petit smirk à lire comment Masashi incluait le geste comme si c'Était une salvation plutôt que de chicaner l'autre homme d'avoir osé le faire sur son précieux parrain. C'Était surement mieux ainsi pour obtenir une suite. S'il l'accusait un peu trop il n'obtiendrait pas la suite, assurément. Masashi écrivait beaucoup mais montrait son intérêt et RYoku pensait que c'Était une bonne réponse. Il regarda son téléphone ouvert sur la défintiion et supprima la recherche pensivement. *

There's so many unknowns in this story it's driving me crazy!

But now I get why Tsubasa-san was so disgusted by the bachata and club dances! Of course there's a little of this in dancing hot and sweaty at night! But the difference is consent.

I know ! Me too it's driving me completely nuts >.< ! It's like they know we're interested and there's getting us hooked and not giving us anything to bite on !! >.> !

What kind of pent-up tension they must have had?! Of course the second they got hard it was problematic >.< !

*Bien sur, Tsubasa n'aimait pas la bachata par son manque de classe et de réelle danse, à son avis. Mais il était vrai qu'il y avait aussi une portion de cela. Car il avait des souvenirs précieux de ses rapprochements avec Eiki, et l'idée que ce genre d'actions étaient utilsés sans aucune intimité le dérangeait grandement. *

T:" Non en effet il y a eu trop de gêne. Je suis parti me laver et Eiki aussi, ailleurs. Nous avons tenté d'échanger quelques mots, mais aucun d'entre nous n'en aviat le courage. Eiki a écrit dans son journal et moi j'ai tenté de dormir."

Aah! You were right, he wrote about it!! But how come we couldn't find these parts!? It should've been just before the confession, no? Aah Deokin! Did you hide those parts willingly?? Do you know where the torn pages are you little devile >.< ??

Man... I just really wish we could put our hands on that journal!! What did he say? Did he get excited too? What did he do when he was in the shower ~ ? Come on that must be the truth, nah?

I know it's wrong but Masa, technically you'Ve alreayd read it! So what if we were to just take a peek now and get stuff more precisely? And we don't even know if the part was truly torn or not!

* Se sentant terriblement coupable d'avoir ces pensées, Ryoku secoua la tête. Il n'allait quand même pas suggérer d'aller regarder, non? Mais c'Était la maison de Masashi aussi... et comme les deux hommes y vivant étaient en voyage comment pourraient-ils être surpris? Il y avait le danger Deokin mais ils pouvaient trouver une façon de le truquer, non? non??? Ahh Masashi le tuerait d'avoir de telles pensées, mais comment ne pas les avoir? toute la vérité était là sur papier, mourrant d'envie d'être sue! Et en plus, certainement que Tsubasa avait plein de secrets aussi, seulement il se complaisait à ne donner que ceux concernant Eiki au compte goutte, ce n'Était pas directement les siens tant que ca non plus! *

I still can't believe they got it off both separately... what a waste..

What a terrible, terrible waste...

I can't believe it ...and yet somehow I can kinda believe it. Sixteen years of holding back and not even risking anything. It feels like this was the only time!

"Était-ce la seule fois où il s'est passé quelqeu chose entre vous, avant le jour de la confession?"

*Incapable de rester en place, Masashi poussa un grand soupir pui se tourna furtivement vers Ryoku. Il tenta d'ouvrir la bouche pour parler plusierus fois, mais ne parveniat pas à dire ce qu'il voulait vraiment. Il hésita quelques fois, puis osa se risquer en se disant que les oreilles de Deokin allaient ciller une tonne de fois. Surement qu'il s'attendait à le voir retontir tôt ou tard.*

Ryo I think we should go. I have no idea where Deokin is keeping the journals now, but ...technically evrything he has, and everything Eiki has, lies in my old home. I have keys, nad they both aren't there so... I tihkn it's a perfect time. I mean I already checked a few of the journals. They would never know which we did and which we didnt, right? It's all for their good anyway. I'm sure we can find a way to... bribe Deokin into letting us do this.

T:"En effet, rien d'autre. Moi je n'ai cessé de penser à lui au point où je n'étais plus capable de faire quoique ce soit avec Juri. Lui... il a planifié son départ, en même temps qu'il a planifié sa confession"

I'm in !! Probably Deokin gave back Eiki-san his journals, no? I mean they're his.. it would be so awkward if his son kept them, no?

* Se levant d'un bond Ryoku était bien convaincu qu'ils ne pouvaient pas attendre une minute de plus pour avoir la réponse! Il fallait qu'ils en aient le coeur net maintenant! Alors il regarda l'heure qui avancait vers le souper et se dit qu'ils mangeaienrt plus tard ou chez la résidence familiale de Masashi. Il se dirigea rapidement dans la cuisine et mit un plat à réchauffer dans le four. Ensuite il alla cogner à la porte de Tamafune. *

Tama j'ai mis le souper dans le four! Masa et moi on part chercher quelque chose, on va être de retour plus tard! Fais juste vérifier que ca brûle pas!

Tama: Vous allez ou?

None of your business.

Juste... checker la maison du père de Masa qui est parti en voyage.

Tama: Oh.. ok.

* Tamafune avait ouvert la porte et l'avait regardé suspicieusement et puis avait tourné la tête pour regarder Masashi dans le salon qui était tout ébouriffé. Ils avaient eu toute la journée pour s'Activer et décidaient maintenant de le faire? Ils étaient vriment careless ces gars-là. Bah Whatever. Ryoku retourna vers Masashi et se vira la tête un peu en haut pour lire la réponse de TSubasa à l'envers. *

What? Who plans to confess and leave? I mean the guy was hard from massage! Of course the confession would go smoothly! So why leaving? This story doens't make sense, Masa!

N'oublie pas l'heure de dodo pour Maeko! A plus tard ^^'' MErci!

*Au loin, Masashi fit un petit signe de la main à Tamafune. Il ne s'était pas approché mais se doutait qu'elle le chercherait du regard, non? Ils étaient en train de batir une meilleure relation en plus avec ce partenariat de danse, qui était bien plus acceptable et c'était tant mieux. Il fallait continuer dans cette lignée. Masashi prit deux jackets, enfila le sien et offrit celui à Ryoku et n'avait que très mal vu que Ryoku tentait de lire la réponse de Tsubasa.*

I know and yet I dont. This is bothering me so much! So much that I dont even know IF we'll find the answer we're looking for in this jounrla. What if Eiki is as evasive as Tsubasa?

It's like they're so distant from their own feelings and experiences... Like they're narrating a story without realising they are the actors of it! Very strange. I'm sure Deokin will agree, and yet.. I can kinda icture him "Pourquoi tu aurais le droit de lire ces journaux?! Demande-lui la permission, parce que tu n'auras certainement pas la mienne" Uuuuggh how to convince him?

Hey, but do you know what's ironic? Eiki and Oseki are there both struggling to figure out where their relationship is and they'Re leaving. And in the past, Eiki was making plans for both a confession and a departure. Do you think it's related in any way? Maybe he has to plan an escape plan before making a move?

It's.. it's possible. A lot of people tend to run away when they're scared. Especially if they don'T like to pick up fights.

* Enfilant son jacket, Ryoku remercia son boyfriend. Cela lui rappelait quand ils avaient fini par sauver Deokin en partant ensemble sur la piste de ce qui était arrivé à Ryoko. Il ne voulait pas rappeler de mauvais souvenirs à Masashi, alors que pour Ryoku ce n'Était pas tant le meurtre que le sauvetage, alors il ne mentionna rien. Il suivit Masashi à l'extérieur de l'appartement en ne restant pas une seule seconde en place. *

But then that would mean he would be preparing a second confession?

It's all very strange. The Tsubasa-san I slept with isn't like the one from this story. I remember Eiki-san saying how much he's changed, and he would even say it about himself. But then Eiki-san changed too, even if he was gone a while. Afterall, being so pure and evasive... and then this exalted Christmas scene... doesn'T feel that much like the same man. But what do we really know about his personal life? Not so much. Maybe we'll learn more this time.

A lot of things have changed... I mean, I can understand that much though. I always felt like I could understand the broken-hearted and coldness that became Tsubasa. Leaving sixteen years in secrecy about your crush, being so scared of this rush of attraction, then finally living it up only to have the man you loved killed on the day after... The Tsuabsa I then knew was so, so cold. Sad. Distant. Rigid. He probably suppressed so much...

And then, when Eiki came back to life, I think he started to thaw. Or maybe he just snapped and lost it all. I think it's logical that he went full out on expressing and desiring attraction and sex. He was somehow freed from his guilt of desire. Maybe because of that, he desired a man who would be full of sexual energy and desire and libido and well... Eiki wasn't there. Or maybe he'll never be. But... there's also...

Well.. the way he spoke to me on the train, and the way he reacted to how I was speaking... I think he started to ponder if he was developping feelings for my dad. AS you see, he's pretty slow to catch on so .. and you know, this big story with Tsubasa, I dont think you can move on that easily either.

*N'ayant pas entendu et su ce que Ryoku savait, Masashi ne se fiait qu'a ce qu'il connaissait de Eiki. Deokin et lui savaient aussi que Oseki était plus impatient et direct et qu'il n'allait pas laisser à Eiki le temps de bien réfléchir comme celui-ci en avait besoin. Comment en étaiten-ils venus à devenir des sex partners? Masashi commencait à songer que peut-etre Oseki "entrainait" Eiki pour qu'il soit ce que Tsubasa attendait de lui? Il fronca les sourcils à la pensée, secouant la tête plusieurs fois alors uq'il prenait le volant.*

Well for sure, I don't feel guilty comforting him while he comforted me. This story is really heartbreaking. Yet again, it's paved by their own choices. Both of them preferred not having anything than risking it. And when they did, they paid the price. They knew they shouldn't have. Then again seeing how slow they were... maybe they expected they wouldn't work out?

That cold, heartbroken mysterious aura was certainly attractive about him. I think the whole situation was much crueller to Tsubasa-san than to Eiki-san, because he lived to remember.

* Prenant place près de Masashi dans la voiture, Ryoku se sentait en mission, mais en même temps, son coeur avait mal de se rappeler comment l'histoire avait mal terminé. Il avait constamment le parti pris pour tSubasa, apres tout. Et puis il voulut se concentrer sur ou la situation était présentement, car ce n'Était pas exactement ca qui les animaient aujourd'hui. Il posa ses mains sur ses genoux apres s'être attaché. *

Learning about how slow and strange stuff was between Tsubasa-san and Eiki-san in the past, I wonder if they would've had hit off. I mean... it took a lot of opportunities for the spark to truly lit off. So if things got steamy real fast with your dad, less than a year so at least 16 times faster! I think it's normal for your godfather to reflect on his feelings for him.

*Meme si fondamentalement Masashi prendrait toujours le côté de Eiki et que par les circonstances, Ryoku prendrait pour Tsubasa, aucun des deux n'était aveugle au point de vue de l'autre. En fait, Masashi acquiesca en entendant les propos de son amoureux car il pouvait s'imaginer sa douleur.*

I agree. Much more crueller and painful for Tsubasa... but then again, it must've been so terribly sad for Eiki to come back to a life that moved on and changed so much. The way he wrote about how he loved Tsubasa... I dont think anyone could move on from that. I mean, my dad is his best friend and he gives him good sex as well. It doesn't have to be about love either. You can care deeply for someone without being in love and still enjoy this relationship. I think that the moment you crave for the relationship to be precise is because you think the feelings are different... and usually it's because you feel more invested in the relationship than the other person.

I think that during all those years, especially for my dad who knew Eiki was alive, he had a lot of time to think and ponder about how he felt and why he was so persistant in keeping him alive. Must have had something to say to him, something to live with him. And clearly it wasn'T just sleeping with him once!

I think it's normal to wonder about your own feelings... but I also think it's okay and normal not to travel at the same speed.

I agree... To me sex is an expression of love. I didn't taste it without love by choice yet it did make me feel much closer to the person I had it with. You had countless encounters so maybe it's different for you. I wonder... how does it feel, when you do not connect with the one you love, sexually... how can it even be...

We have all heard of happy couples that have no sex. It may be possible to livethis way forever. Is this what Eiki-san wanted, and Oseki-san wanted more? Afterall he's the one asking about relationships and their name. Maybe he felt their relationship meaningless without a name. So he wanted to know if it was love. Or else.

* tentant de mettre quelques détails ensemble, Ryoku se demandait si en effet c'était possible d'aimer sans la sexualité. POur lui une grande portion de l'amour s'exprimait ainsi. POtentiellement c'Était le cas aussi pour un des deux de cette relation. En même temps, il voyait mal Tsubasa être incapable de donner ses sentiments par le physique. C'Était une situation trèes complexe et il tourna la tête vers Masashi. *

I heard all about your godfather and Tsubasa-san but I don't know all that much about your father and Eiki-san. You always referred to them as "best friends" so I kinda thought of them as Jiyu and I but then.. at Christmas it seemed more than that. It wasn't brotherly at all. It didn't feel like Setsuna and Ken either.

Well... to me sex is also an expression of love, and a way to show it. You made me understand that in so many ways, youknow. I was a promiscious teenager because I wanted the physical pleasure yes, but I also wanted the attention, hoping to find love somewhere. Of course I understand now how I had it all wrong...

*N'étant pas trop sur de où Ryoku s'en allait en mentionnant cela, Masahsi le laissa parler un peu pour voir quelle direction prendrait ses mots. Le questionnement de Ryoku par rapport à la realtion de Oseki et Eiki était approprié, mais Masashi n'avait pas des tonnes d'informations non plus. Il restait une certaine portion de traget de voiture alors l'Hikaru tenta de bien répondre, mais trouvait que ce n'était pas si évident que cela.*

The thing is... I can tell you about what I know about them before the incident, but my perspective was taht of a young kid. I loved my godfather as if he was my true parent, and whenever Deokin and I were playing together, they were always lcose to each other. Ah! I remeber that he and I used to elaborate plans to rescue Eiki, thinking he was kidnapped by my dad ^^' Eiki was looking at us, and dad was looking at Eiki. ...

I'm not exactly sure what kind of information you are looking for? What should I be telling you? Maybe I know stuff and I dont even realise it? After all, they were natural to me so maybe I dont see how it is, or isn't, a normal friendship?

Yes that's a bit odd. PLanning to rescue your father's male best friend from him... A dreamy gaze... Inseparable friends.. It's just a little too intense for it to be standard. But then again maybe it's special about Eiki-san, because you're so fond of him too it's way beyond any godfather-godchild relationship! And what to say about Deokin towards his father

I thought probably because he died you both cherished his memory and he seemed all the more precious to you now that he's back, but the way you talk, it was this way even before he was gone.

* C'Était captivant, mais aussi mystérieux. Ryoku trouvait qu'il manquait des pièces de puzzle et espérait en trouver les réponses dans leur recherche. Quand il songeait que toute cette histoire avait été révélée dans le but que Masashi puisse accepter son histoire avec lui, elle lui semblait encore plus importante. Il repensait à tout ce qu'elle leur avait fait vivre, et se remémora un très important détail, et se tourna vers le blond rapidement.*

However there was one person who disagreed. Your brother.

*Ressentant un long frisson le parcourir, Masashi se tortilla sur son siège en tentant de l'absorber. Il n'aimait pas en parler, mais cela restait assez fondamental. Ses mains se cripsaient sur le volant. Masashi savait fort bien qu'ils avaient sauvé Deokin. Il savait que c'était le bon geste, mais le résultat et la violence le dérangeaient à chaque fois. *

My brother hated Eiki. He believed... he believed that Eiki was stealing all of my dad's attention, and that he neglected his duties as a father to us both, and his duties as husband to my mom.

My brother. A very complex chapter... I dont know what to feel about all of this, to be frank. I guess it's easier to just toss it aside, especially now that he... is dead.

*Poussant un soupir et gardant son air concentré pour la route, Masashi se permettait une voix plus nostalgique et plus narrative. Ryoku savait qu'il n'était pas près de sa famille, mais depuis le retour d'Eiki, il était vrai que graduellement il rebatissait une relation avec son père. Et en ce moment, tout cela était en lien avec leur mission actuelle.*

I don't really talk about this but... Matsuyo had figured out that my mom was seeing someone else. He wanted my dad to do something about it, work on their couple or something, but it was already too late. There was a long while that she was gone from home a short while after Eiki's incident. Matsuyo was always so angry at dad for not being with her and not understanding the situation she was in. He told him many times to stop mourning the dead and take care of the living. And when mom came back, it was so obvious that there was nothing between my parents anymore that it was really...sad. Empty. Mom was with us one week on two, and Matsuyo kept on going about her having a lover.

Well that explains the separated house. It's been a while but I remember a few things you told me before about this.

* S'Appuyant contre le dossier derriere lui, Ryoku ferma les yeux et revoyait le beau professeur, habillé à son meilleur, le suivant pour aller faire de l'escalade un vendredi soir pas comme les autres. *

I remember... when you talked to me about Matsuyo, on our first date. We were climbing the wall and you told me about your parents. A distant mother with a jerk of a boyfriend staying in the family house, a cold father that loved her so much he couldn't throw her out and a brother who hated everybody and even tried to choke you. I remember you telling me Matsuyo was highly deranged with this boyfriend of your mother's. That the jerk he was even stole your brother's girlfriend to make her a porn star. You never wanted to check if that was what he had done to your mother. I remember her yelling at you to stop moaning your gay tendencies, the first time I went over. I remember admiring that Eiki-san's comeback gave your father the strenght to finally divorce her.

Oseki-san is always more of a lost lamb in those stories. He comes out a pretty proud man, so how could he put up with all this?

...to be fair, I think my father was afraid of being alone.

I dont really want to think about that Shino guy. Not only was he my mom's boyfriend, but he was a total asshole. Ugh how he treated Matsuyo. I never wanted to know how he really treated my mom, I figured dad wouldn't have any of it if it was bad...but maybe he just didn't care. I dont know. And that kid, too.

I was raised believing that the strongest relationship you could ever have wiht someone was friendship. Love was a responsibility and a goal if you wanted to settle down and have a family, and you'd get to spend your free time seeing your friends. ...Anyway. What I mean is, I know that my dad and Eiki were very close before the incident. I just... dont know how much or since when. Or how. I dont know anything about their past before I was alive, except a few readings here and there while looking for his love story ^^'

*Plutot songeur, Masashi se demanda si Deokin et lui avaient volontairement omis les passages avec la mention d'Oseki. Ou putôt, il recherchait l'histoire de romance et comment cela culminait... alors ils avaient forcément sauté les passages "plates" et les histoires avec Oseki.Cette fois-ci, ils n'llaient pas le chercher directement mais bon, peut-etre que s'il les croisait, ils iraient les lire.*

Afraid of being alone.. I guess that does make sense. I wonder if that is the reason he brought Eiki-san to the house. Afterall, it's better with a friend than alone, ne?

Was he just a substitute for the lost wife? A friend happening to be there and in need, ready to fill up the void in both the house and bed? With Eiki-san left with the void of a failed love story, the two friends use each other as needed until better comes around. Things get sour when one tries to get away. Getting to meet someone new. The relationship that was then meaningless falls apart, only wishing the friendship will remain to save the day.

Your dad is now making new friends though. You remember in the train back from the fire temple? You did go all the way to ask him to have dinner with us and his lady friend. It's the first time he has a woman close to him since your mother, right?

If your mother had someone else and your father knew she was cheating... didn't he.. dind't he see someone else too?

* Mentionnant quelques petites choes qui lui venait en tête avant d'arriver, Ryoku était de plus en plus pensif. IL commençait à craindre qu'ils ne trouvaient rien qui ne leur plairait dans ce qui était écrit. *

That... that's right. I mean, if he was seeing someone, he never mentionned it or showed it in any way. Maybe he was okay with just jerking off once in a while. Maybe he was too disgusted by my mom to be interested in finding someone else.

I never considered it, to be frank. Everything was just so chaotic, I think I didnt bother wondering. What you said though, it makes me feel pretty sad to be honest. Dad being alone, Eiki with a failed relationship with his forever love... they both had nothing to lose and everything to win.

That's right as well. I was so taken aback about the story of trying to save his friend from the Vicious and teh dragon and how Korin was telling us the story! I was wondering who I'd stop everything for to go save and protect. Then I touhght about the fact that I did exactly that with Deokin, so I figured he probably cared a lot about that friend of his. She's also an Anahiki. Oh and it was quite clear how she and Tsubasa despise each other ^^'

*Ne faisant d'abord pas les memes liens que Ryoku, Masashi trouvait que la maniere dont Ryoku parlait de comment son pere et Eiki en étaient venus à habiter ensemble était triste et manquait le fondement de leur amitié. C'était comme les traiter comme n'importe quels autres amis, mais ce n'était pas du tout pareil. Ce n'était as comme Jiyu et Ryoku non plus, qui ressemblaient bien plus a Deokn et Masashi.*

...wait. Why are we talking about this ? I mean my dad always had Harumi close to him too. Look, I know you're afraid of me being friends with girls because I'm attracted to both gender, but it doesnt mean that a guy and a girl can't be friends ! It's the same as two gays being friends!

Still it's odd. Your father had so many years with an excuse to meet women and date. But now that he has his old friend back, he kicks the cheating wife out and starts making new lady friends. Did he need Eiki-san's approbation on who to see? Was he afraid of being hurt again ?

Do you hide in your best friend's bed to avoir any risk at your heart again? Yes that could be a reason. A damn good one at that. But what are you doing to your friendhship? Using it wrongly will only dessicate it until only a sour drop remains.

I don't really like the expression, but it could be.. just a phase? You know, getting close with his best friend with both their broken hearts and now he's strong enough to go live his own life and makes new.. " important " friends. Cute one at that, with a good family and a look similar to the best friend.

* PLus Ryoku parlait, plus il était mêlé, mais plus l'histoire semblait triste en fait. Il voyait deux hommes isolés qui n'Avaient rien vu d'autre et n'Avaient qu'un et l'autre, malheureux. De plus, l'un d'entre eux n'Était pas du tout réputé pour être gay alors rien ne foncitonnait là. C'Était une reltion de confort ou d'amertume même, faute d'Avoir quique ce soit d'autre pour combler le vide. mais maintenant il y avait quelqun d'autre. *

...

Could it be... ? Could it be the reason why Deokin and I felt so againts it ever since the beginning? Heck, ever since before we knew of anything "sexual" going on between them? I dont know, but I dont want to believe this. My dad, I always thought he was sad and that was why he wasn't a good father. I didnt like him. But somehow now we're bonding. I wondered if it was because Eiki is back, if it was because he understood after losing Matsuyo, or even after being freed from his resentment, or freed from mom. I dont know hich. Maybe he just genuinely wanted to make up with me, you knwo. I just... I dont want this father-son realtionship to be wasted and destroyed. I woudln't be able to forgive him, if he hurt Eiki like that. But then again...

You think it could be a phase for the both of them? Or maybe a sort of agreement since they were both in difficult situations? I ... but ... why did it become sexual in the first place >.< ? I mean, you dont suddenly think about having sex with your best friend and ..and... you certianly dont have wild sex around in the house if you're just having a phase with your BFF ! That's not the type of sex best friends have >.< !

*MEme si Masashi détestait l'admettre, il y avait quelque chose dnas la scène qu'ils vaient vu qui était loin d'etre juste une phase uo juste une relation "convenient". Il y avait de la passion, et la passion... d'ou venait-elle? Masashi s'énerva sur son siege en sortant de l'autoroute, sahant bien qu'il ne restiat que queqleus minutes au trjet. Ryoku le forcait à réaliser qu'il ne connaissait pas grand chose de son père, de ses préférences, et de ce qui le rapprochait d'Eiki. Et Eiki, lui? Il n'était pas du genre à avoir de la sexualité si facilment, lui qui avait attendu plus de 30 ans avant sa première fois.*

Haa haha!

* Passant sa main sur son front, Ryoku ne put s'empêcher de rire en entenant Masashi s'énerver. IL y avait quelque chose dans sa faĉon de douter et de détester et aimer cette relation tout en même temps de terriblement cute. C'Était ainsi que son boyfriend était le plus craquant. Il continua à avoir un grand sourire en regardant l'horizon qu'il reconnaissait sur la route, se rapprochant d ela emeure de serre abandonnée *

Wild sex around the house eh? ...Well when we arrived, I remember Eiki-san sitting across Oseki-san lap, bottom-naked, with his shirt unbuttoned, falling on his shoulder that Masa's father was busy kissing. They had their hands all around each other, and were quite sweaty at that. I remember Masa's dad pants down his legs, and how we couldn't see much but it was clear they had just finished one round like this. And Masa's right they didn't look close to be finished. It's quite wild indeed.

Aahh that scene Masa ~ mmm... you're right. It's waaaayy too intense for BFFs! It's the kind of thing I used to fantasize about when I was dreaming about gay sex as a young teen!!! It's definetely unfitting of a pure maiden-man et an heterosexual father who didn't seem to give a damn about physicality for years!!!

*Emettant un petit son alors que Ryoku riait de lui, Masashi craqua malgré tout un sourire. Il savait qu'il risquait en disant ce qui était l'éventualité qu'ils avaient vu, mais il ne fallait pas l'oublier. C'était une donnée récente et valide, et si cela existait ainsi entre eux... pour lui ca ne faisait aucun sens que cela ne soit qu'une phase. A moins que l'andropose ne soit aussi intense?? *

I ... I ... dont want to think about this. And I even less want to think about the details we saw and whatever ...thing I could remember >.< ! H-hey! What do you mean you used to fantasize about sex like that? Ryo!! >.< ! You're talking about my dad and my godfather!

And it's also not the kind of hot sex we have. Is this what you want?! .. !! You never told me ! Should I go for a businessman look more often? Ooh maybe you'D like business role play ~ ? ACK! As long as it does not look like this scene! I could never reproduce something like that, I'd be waay too ashamed and how could you do this without thinking about hte actual scene you saw >.< !? Impossible!

*Meme si Masashi était tres dérangé, il était quand meme content. Il était bien capable quelque part d'accepter cette version... mais ne voulait pas trop l'admettre. C'était beaucoup trop wrong pour être acceptable. DEokin serait d'accord. Oui voila comment Masashi pourrait aborder Deokin pour le convaincre de lui laisser lire les journaux à nouveau.*

You know there are a lot of things that bother me about what you said... but now that I'm an adult and understand these things... it bothers me to think that all those years, didn't my dad have a girlfriend of his own or something? My parents were the most active, but I mean I could hear them so it's not like they were inactive. And ... and ... I mean, I can't imagine he'd have sex with her once she had her boyfriend so... he didnt have for long years and now he would just go and go with Eiki ? To be fair though, it is quite addictive to be a seme ~